


expanse

by rookfire



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-07-01 02:09:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15764442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rookfire/pseuds/rookfire
Summary: introspective piece about Asahi's fear of rejoining volleyball





	expanse

You were the star on the court.  
The powerful burning ace,  
the figure who inspires faith in your allies.   
The view above the net is cloudless, glittering, endless expanse.  
Strength and vitality beat through your body like blood.  
Faith and joy burn like offerings in your heart.   
Your body is an altar, your god the sport.

But a tall wall rose before you.  
You jump.   
And  
you   
fall.

Here is the story no one tells you.   
Our minds are riddled with worms and rot.   
All of a sudden –  
_everything_  
is   
rewritten.

That beloved, sacred, untouchable place turns alien and terrifying.   
You turn.   
You look at the net.  
Where you once saw endless expansive sky, now you see a wall.   
It stretches further than the eye can see.

It cannot be scaled.

Your blood turns to fear.  
Your heart turns into a pyre.   
All that you have to offer is fear, terror, and defeat.  
You recognize nothing.   
You can do nothing.   
You are mired and paralyzed  
by your own mind.

The sunshine boy comes along.  
He is earnest and clumsy and lionhearted and bright as the sun.   
He is passion embodied.

Your head lifts from the terror and exhaustion.

How could you forget these simple things?   
The heft of the ball?   
That bright burning wonder?   
The spark and spirit that fuelled you?   
Your teammates beside you? The guardian figure behind you?   
The insistent presence of the  _here_ and  _now_?

How could you forget hope?

You are at the net again.   
You look.  
The wall is there.   
It may be there forever.   
But this time –  
you offer with calm hands your whole self.

And  
the wall doesn’t disappear  
but  _you_ –  
you can see around it.   
And the fear falls away  
and your mind’s eye  
opens up again.

**Author's Note:**

> the way asahi was so scared and the way he fled from volleyball after one failure reminded me so much of my own struggles with anxiety. i felt so represented when i saw what he was going through. it was like seeing a kindred spirit.
> 
> i also love hinata and i loved the sunshine effect he has on everyone. aaaand i lowkey ship asanoya lol so here's a mix of everything


End file.
